Generational Trauma

A dysregulated mother may pass on her NPD to her son (my father and my ex), who repeats the pattern through abusive behaviors with his own children (my sister), who in turn continue the cycle with their children (my nephew).

Even a child from a narcissistic family who does not develop NPD (me) may marry a partner with the disorder (my ex), increasing the likelihood of creating a narcissistic disease cluster and perpetuating the damage in future generations.

Can you see the waves of trauma that perpetuate? Can you see how the cycle continues, over and over, unbeknown to our children?

I made a pact NOT to marry anyone like my father, but subconsciously I was programmed to play out the scene I was determined not to avoid.

This is the war that plays out in our heads. The fight between the intellectual mind (conscious) and the old childhood programming (unconscious) that hums away in the distance, ushering us down a dark, delusional, scary path filled with torment, confusion and suffering.

This is the familiar path that I was dragged along for over thirty years. Sucking in debris, litter and garbage until I was overflowing with bags of dysfunctional people. And along the way I had no idea I was programmed like a robot to attract these toxic individuals. I had no awareness of the saying ‘you will keep on repeating the same situations until YOU learn the lesson’. As I dusted one off, another one landed in my lap. Determined not to be fooled again I trusted and I believed. I gave every inch of my sacred self away, time and time again. I plodded through life with my eyes closed in unconscious state of awareness.

The Good News:

While by definition generational trauma tends to ripple forward, it is by no means a foregone conclusion. This alone is a reason for us to stand tall and change this dysfunctional cycle for the sake of the generations to come.

We know that new generations bring different parents, parenting styles, social influences, and genetics into play that all offer opportunities for healthier outcomes. Most living beings by nature move toward light and healing, choosing peace over discord and love over cruelty and hate.

Let’s win this war!!!

We cannot do this without global education and awareness. In order to save our children and grandchildren collectively we need to make a change. It begins with you and I.

Have you reflected back upon your childhood to recognise the familiar patterns? My mother would emotionally silence me, and my father was a narcissist. No coincidence I attracted a husband who mentally silenced me too, pulling away physically and emotionally reminding me of these painful old patterns. Your inner child feels safe and familiar here, but the adult you cannot bear it. It’s not until we begin to heal these old patterns that we can find the strength to leave. Your inner deserving feels bound to stay, but the conscious you knows it feels so wrong, hence your sickness.